Interview with Next

 

We’re visiting today with Next Holstein Osterfoss, head of security at the Nagle Warren Mansion Bed & Breakfast.  Next has been with the bed and breakfast since its inception and he holds seniority status.  We thought we would have him answer some of the most frequently asked questions about himself

Q.           Mr. Osterfoss, how is it that you came to live at the Nagle?

A.            Please, call me Next.  I don’t stand on formalities.

                To answer your question, I was actually living in the alley for at least three years prior to Jim Osterfoss acquiring the mansion.  At that time the alley was overrun with cats and Jim read somewhere that a neutered male cat would defend its territory and run off the excess population.  As you can see, I was born in a tuxedo and I had always entertained aspirations of living at the mansion.  I was chosen for the position because of my tuxedo, my incredibly buff physique and the swashbuckling eye patch that lends distinction to my appearance. 

Q.           How did you acquire your name, Next?

A.            Now, therein lies a tail, errr, tale.  While Jim was entertaining guests on the patio one summer evening he was discussing how he had taken a female cat (Miss Emma) in for family planning.  He pointed to me and said, “What are you smirking at, you’re Next” and the name stuck.  I was reluctant to submit to the operation required for the job, but after deep consideration of the pros and cons I allowed myself to go under the knife, and as they so delicately say, I was “fixed.”  It was at that time that I was officially christened, Next Holstein Osterfoss.  My middle name, of course, comes from my coloring which, and I say this regretfully, resembles a cow.

Q.           Did you have any siblings?

A.            I actually had a brother who dropped by from time-to-time.  His name was Adolf Mustachio.  He had an unfortunate birthmark over his upper lip.  He was very slim, sneaky and subversive by nature, and he just generally let himself go…no pride in his appearance.  He got in with a bad crowd and eventually ran off with them.    He indicated he was going to Las Vegas to make his fortune.  I haven’t heard from him in years, not even a postcard.  Sad case, that one.

Q.           As Chief of Security, you have a lot of responsibility.  Tell me about that.

A.            Yes, I take my responsibilities seriously and keep a very strict schedule.  I patrol the perimeter and supervise the staff.  About four years ago, I brought a tyke home.  He was just out of the nest and he showed a lot of potential.  He handled himself well and took good care of his appearance.  You will see him around — he’s a big grey, fluffy guy.  He has white toes and a white bib.  His name is Sugarfoot.  He is named after his markings (white toes) as well as the character in a 50s western that alternated with the program “Cheyenne.”  The people here think that’s very clever but, frankly, it’s lost on me. When you deal with the public, as I do, you have to humor the humans.

Q.           Were you thinking of retirement when you brought Sugarfoot on as your assistant?

A.            No, I will always work but when a cat gets to the age of 16, he starts to think about cutting  back on his hours and spending a little more time napping in the sunshine.

Q.           You have certainly maintained your good looks and agility, Next.   I’ve seen you sparring with the young guy and I wish I had your youthful vigor.   Perhaps sometime you can share your health tips with us. 

I’m afraid we’re running short of time. Is there anything that you would like to add?

A.            I’d like to pitch our new column.  Sugie and I have agreed to do an occasional column on the blog.  We welcome questions …just title your Comment  “ASK THE CAT” and answers will appear in our column.

Q.           Thanks for taking time out of your hectic schedule to visit with us this morning, Next.

A.            No problemo, kid.

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